Almost got killed by a man with no penis today!

So people that know me know that I think the Hummer is the biggest "no penis" car out there. I even have a Facebook page dedicated to it! So OF COURSE this happens to me today...I was driving to the store to grab a pack of butts when I was almost killed by a tool in a green hummer. Completely ran a stop sign and almost T-boned me in my little car! There can't be many green hummers in this town so I'm sure sooner or later I will run into this penially challenged man again and THIS is what I would like to say about him and his hummer:

IF YOU:
Are not in the military;
Do not live in the desert, rainforest, a war zone or some trecherous mountain terrain;
Are not the leader of a huge drug cartel;
Do not use it to promote a business or a charity...

YOU SHOULD NOT DRIVE A HUMMER!

IF YOU:
Have never had luck with the ladies;
Wear too much gel in your hair;
Are overly-tanned;
Have a pot-belly;
Are bald;
Have a mustache;
Worshipped Don Johnson in Miami Vice;
Where gold chains tangled in a mass of chest hair;
Are 45 and still live with your parents;
And, oh yeah...HAVE NO DICK...

YOU PROBABLY DRIVE A HUMMER!

Either way, society has gotten to know these vehicles for their uncanny ability to point out that YOU HAVE NO PENIS!

It is up to people like me to try and promote awareness to all the clueless, dickless men out there who try and compensate for their lack of penis with these obnoxious, gas guzzling vehicles. You are not fooling anyone. We all know what you really have "under your hood". ;)

Just because you can't grow another inch to your dick, you can grow a set of balls and and scream proudly "YES! I have a small dick and I'm proud!!!"

Trying to save the copay for a shrink ;)

Yep, 2:27 a.m. and I decide I am going to start a blog..... NO, I am not on drugs right now....I just don't sleep so well. I love sleep, really really love sleeping and dreaming. So I don't understand why I can't get myself to goto bed at night!

A lil about me....30 (something), working as a manager in the restaurant business. (I'm sure I'll be writing a lot about that!) Hate it! lol BUT I looked at my social security statement a couple years ago and after 14 years of bartending and waiting tables, (making GREAT money in tips but making 2.63 an hour and not claiming shi*t) almost threw up when I saw what I was getting month if I retired at 70, let alone 60-65! I'd be tied to some bed in some State funded raisin ranch, drooling and looking out a window all day, waiting to die...lol SO, I decided to get a job "on the books"...salary.BLAH.

I'm married. Been with my husband 13 years in June. Married 7 in June as well. No kids but 2 dogs and 2 cats. I'm sure "the fam" will be a frequent topic on here as well...

Anyways.....What do I plan to accomplish with this blog? I'm hoping to finally be able to rant and rave about the everyday bullshit and stupid people I have to deal with on a daily basis. I defnitely KNOW the hubby is sick of listening to it, lol. Maybe this blog will "lighten his load" a little. Even tho, God forbid he has to listen to me bitch every once in a while. I don't give a shit about cable installation and the exciting life of a cable technician, yet I listen to his "Tales of a Cable Guy". ;) ALTHO, that's all a story for another time ;). K....I'm off to sleep. 2:47...Not bad for 20 minutes on the fly! Gnite!